A las señoritas de hermosillo

Esta va para ustedes...

Aparentemente soy una calamidad en hermosillo. Aparentemente lo que escribo es coherente para gente que se topa con mi blog por accidente. Soy el unico que ve ironia en el asunto? Digo tan accidental es que te topes con mi blog como es el hecho que le entiendas. Creo que probabilidad (o Dios, va para ambos lados) tiene una manera curiosa de jodernos. Nunca crei conocer gente que me encontrara interesante o que mis opiniones fueran relevantes.

Pero hablando con mi mejor amiga entre tragos hablando sobre broncas que ella a tenido con otras de mis amigas creo que realmente tengo una dosis de interesante entre la diarrea vocabularia que suelto dia a dia.

Realmente no digo/escribo las cosas para que alguien me escuche y se identifque con lo que digo. Lo escribo por que si no estaria en tres cajetillas al dia (en lugar de dos), no tendria uñas que morderme y mi higado estaria reducido a nada.

No soy nadie, solo soy un tipo mas flotando entre la escoria de la humanidad. La unica diferencia es que sobre-analizo las cosas cada tanto.

El problema creo que es que yo hago las cosas por mi. Odio la gente que hace las cosas por impresionar, que van contra corriente por ir contra corriente. Yo lo hago por mi . Yo voy contra corriente por que se siente correcto, nisiquiera contra corriente. Simplemente lo que hago aparentemente cae en la categoria de contra corriente. Siento que cuando la gente me dice que "Oh es que es bien cool eso que dijiste" o "Oh tienes razon en X cosa" siento que la gente lo interpreta que lo dije para ellos. Asi que aclarare:

THE SHIT I DO, ORIGINAL OR NOT, I DO FOR ME. BUT I GREATLY APRECIATE THAT YOU FIND IT SO.

Diciendo eso, solo quiero aclarar:

Soy emocionalmente inestable, soy un desmadre en cuanto a higiene personal, fui clincamente diagnosticado con depresion y voy para estar clincamente alcoholico, tiendo a autodestruirme y/o arruinarme cuando tengo oportunidad al exito, no acepto cumplidos, soy un musico y escritor mediocre sin embargo conllevo todas las pretenciones de ser uno bueno.

Pero gracias...


Festina Vite Lente

If your my destiny, well...im cheatin fate this time

Sometimes, you hear songs before you know what they mean.

That happened to me today. I downloaded some songs from an english band called "The Cribs". I saw them on conan 2 nights ago and thought they were ok. I really liked this song called "Mirror Kisses". I had been listening to it all day. Didn't know what the lyrics were, and didn't care really.

I went drinking tonite, as usual, and met a gorgeous girl that was also funny and smaht (new england betch). She asked me to join her and some friends of hers to go to the beach and keep on drinkin' and keep on with the youth debauchery that was going on.

Turns out I had some good conversations about life and human nature, I maybe even alienated the girl I was originally with. But it was good times. I gave her my number she promised to call me but, fat chance right?

So I came home and listen to the cribs again, and got curious so I searched the lyrics and against my knowledge, the song talked about basically what I lived tonite (sans meeting a awesome lady).

You aren't allowed to say that you're better
You aren't allowed to say that cause you're the hipster type
You've got a lot to say, but don't mention
The mirror kissing ways of the hipster type
You aren't allowed to say anything
We kicked around down water lane
But you're not all there
You aren't allowed to say anything
You left me on the street, talking to drains
Cause you're not all there

You aren't allowed to say that you're better
You aren't allowed to say that cause you're the hipster type
You've got a lot to say, but don't mention
The mirror kissing ways of the hipster type

You like to tell yourself that I'm nobody
I think you must have known I'd make you sorry

You like to tell yourself that I'm nobody
I think you must have known I'd make you sorry

Because we talked about different opinions and the meaning of life, but I guess we aren't anything to be talkin about that. So this song was hand in the unsuspecting glove.

My life has always been ruled by songs, so I guess tonite wasn't any different...

Festina Vite Lente....

I am the fat kid in glasses

I've begin to cope with the fact that i am not "slightly overweight" anymore....

I dropped a keychain about 20 minutes ago. It broke.

Over-analyzing things, as I usually do, I noticed that everything around me usually breaks apart. Not in a Boo-hoo im so fucked up, I fuck everything up way. But in the "shit happens" sorta way. I don't hang out with my old friends as much. Most of us have branched out, done other things or just tuned out. I don't resent it, part of life I guess.

But now that I've moved, living in chula vista. Going back home I notice who my friends really are. Who actually cares when I come back to town, etc.

I try to weigh if I made the right decision in moving...

I was on the bus to TJ and as I've written before the turnpike from ENS to TJ is gorgeous. I was looking out the window, seeing the waves crash against the rocks and pull back. Like the waves where little hands trying to reach out and pull me back to Ensenada.

Before going on the bus. I was in my room. Packing. Searching through my room, I saw my life. The books I borrowed and never gave back. My collection of stickers and buttons I've collected from adventurous trips to shows with old friends. The letters from ex-girlfriends. The recordings and scraps of paper with mediocre songs I used to write. And I thought of all the good times that I've had here. Good times, bad times I threw out of proportion and thought the world was ending.

But I have some naive hope that things will be better in the future. Cause we, or at least me, have the notion that things will be better in the future, and things were so much simpler in the past. I guess we never appreciate the present.

So, I make an imaginary toast, to the adventure of living alone as I am begining to partake.

And if you ever need to talk to someone just remeber...

I'm the fat kid in glasses...

Festina Vite Lente