I am the fat kid in glasses

I've begin to cope with the fact that i am not "slightly overweight" anymore....

I dropped a keychain about 20 minutes ago. It broke.

Over-analyzing things, as I usually do, I noticed that everything around me usually breaks apart. Not in a Boo-hoo im so fucked up, I fuck everything up way. But in the "shit happens" sorta way. I don't hang out with my old friends as much. Most of us have branched out, done other things or just tuned out. I don't resent it, part of life I guess.

But now that I've moved, living in chula vista. Going back home I notice who my friends really are. Who actually cares when I come back to town, etc.

I try to weigh if I made the right decision in moving...

I was on the bus to TJ and as I've written before the turnpike from ENS to TJ is gorgeous. I was looking out the window, seeing the waves crash against the rocks and pull back. Like the waves where little hands trying to reach out and pull me back to Ensenada.

Before going on the bus. I was in my room. Packing. Searching through my room, I saw my life. The books I borrowed and never gave back. My collection of stickers and buttons I've collected from adventurous trips to shows with old friends. The letters from ex-girlfriends. The recordings and scraps of paper with mediocre songs I used to write. And I thought of all the good times that I've had here. Good times, bad times I threw out of proportion and thought the world was ending.

But I have some naive hope that things will be better in the future. Cause we, or at least me, have the notion that things will be better in the future, and things were so much simpler in the past. I guess we never appreciate the present.

So, I make an imaginary toast, to the adventure of living alone as I am begining to partake.

And if you ever need to talk to someone just remeber...

I'm the fat kid in glasses...

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