If you touch it, it's cold. If you drop it. it breaks.

Sip..glassjaw

The inevitable end of summer (insert endless summer joke here, i'm to tired right now).Half of it I've been either drunk or on another state of altered concience. I've had fun and all but after a while you gotta ask yourself "what the fuck am I hiding from?". I ve been trying to swallow my own bullshit for a while now. "Im a free spirit, i dont need nobody, music is my whore". Maybe all of that is true, but I still feel lonley.

Makes me wonder...why cant i just be myself, and be by myself? why must the tv always be on? Why do i always have to be drinkin or smoking or drinkin cofee or doing other stuff to alter my state of mind. Kinda makes me wanna throw up a little oh, no wait, thats cause of other stuff (booze). I'm actually kinda proud of myself destructive behavior, i have to. I guess im just another loud mother fucker that doesnt really have anything to say... so....fuck....(yeah this is the part where i randomly swear).

I'm listening to last days of april right now, i guess its the perfect soundtrack. I dont even know what im writing any more, i guess im just bored..no one reads this anymore anyway. everybodys into myspace now, no one gives a shit about blogs...i was like that for a while...then i smacked myself over the head with a lead pipe and reminded myself i have an IQ..oh wait,nope...not anymore.

Fuck...

This is the most i've written in months...to bad it's all incohesive bullshit...and stupid. Can you feel it? Actually getting stupider as you read this?? well i can feel it while i write it....

I guess I just dont give a fuck anymore...and i used to be such a go getter too, all wide eyed and hopefull...trying to impress, i gues at this age you've got all your friends won over..honest, i dont give a fuck anymore... a friend of mine was telling me how she missed the old days with her friends and what not... i guess its all part of maturing... truth is i miss it to...guess i just let go, still cant decide if thats good or bad. But i love my friends. honest, i really do. Guess i would be really messed up if i didn't.

I could write some more bullshit..but i'd be swore tomorrow, so i'm gonna sleep now...

who know maybe i'm the next hemmingway....

fuck...

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